ETIQUETTE OF INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP.
1) REWARD FOR DOING INTERCOURSE.
2) DUA (SUPPLICATION) WHILE DOING INTERCOURSE.
3) RULING ON PRAYING TWO RAKA’H ON WEDDING NIGHT ?.
4) HOW TO INTERCOURSE ?.
5) RULING ON INTERCOURSE IN BACK PASSAGE (ANUS,RECTUM)?.
6) IT IS MUSTAHAB (RECOMMENDED) TO WUDOO IF SOMEONE WANTS TO INTERCOURSE SECOND TIME.
7) WHAT MAKES GHUSL OBLIGATORY ?.
8) BOTH HUSBAND WIFE CAN DO GHUSL IN ONE PLACE.
9) IF PERSON IS JUNUB HE/SHE CAN SLEEP BUT IT IS MUSTAHAB TO DO WUDOO.
10) IT IS FORBIDDEN TO HAVE INTERCOURSE WITH A WOMEN WHEN SHE IS MENSTRUATING (HAVING HER PERIOD).
11) EXPIATITION FOR DOING INTERCOURSE WITH WIFE WHILE MENSTUARATING.
12) IT IS PERMISSIBLE FOR THE HUSBAND TO ENJOY HIS MENSTUARATING WIFE WITHOUT HAVING INTERCOURSE.
13) RULING ON USING COITUS INTERRUPT (CONDOM) ?.
14) A WOMEN SHOULDN’T IGNORE HUSBAND CALL FOR INTERCOURSE WITHOUT ANY SPECIFIC REASON.
15) DOES BOTH SPOUSES ALLOWED TO HAVE INTERCOURSE ON THEIR WEDDING NIGHT?
16) RULING ON INTERCOURSE DURING RAMADAAN ?.
17) RULING ON HUSBAND WIFE PLAYING WHILE FASTING ?.
18) EXPIATITION FOR DOING INTERCOURSE WITH WIFE WHILE FASTING.
19) RULING ON SUCKLING WIFE MILK? DOES SUCKLING MAKE MEHRAM ?.
20) RULING ON ORAL SEX ?.
Sexual relations are among the important matters of life which Islam came to explain and to prescribe proper conduct and rulings which elevate it from the level of mere bestial pleasure and physical desire. Islam connects it to a righteous intention, supplications (adhkaar) and proper conduct which lift it up to the level of worship for which the Muslim will be rewarded. The Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) explains this.
Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) says in his book Zaad al-Ma’aad:-“Concerning sexual relations, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) brought the most perfect guidance, whereby health may be preserved and people may find pleasure and enjoyment, and it may fulfil the purpose for which it was created, because sex was created for three basic purposes:The preservation and propagation of the human race, until they reach the number of souls that Allaah has decreed should be created in this world.Among its benefits is that it helps to lower the gaze, brings self-control, enables one to keep away from haraam things, and achieves all of these things for the woman too. It brings benefit to a man with regard to this world and the Hereafter, and benefits the woman too.
1)REWARD FOR DOING INTERCOURSE:-
Having the sincere intention of doing this thing only for the sake of Allaah. One should intend to do this to protect oneself and one’s wife from doing haraam things, to increase the numbers of the Muslim ummah so as to raise its status, for there is honour and pride in large numbers. It should be known that one will be rewarded for this action, even if he finds immediate pleasure and enjoyment in it.
Abu Dharr reported:
some of the people from among the Companions of the Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him) said to him: Messenger of Allah, the rich have taken away (air the) reward. They observe prayer as we do; they keep the fasts as we keep, and tray give Sadaqa out of their surplus riches. Upon this he (the Holy Prophet) said: Has Allah not prescribed for you (a course) by following which you can (also) do sadaqa? In every declaration of the glorification of Allah (i. e. saying Subhan Allah) there is a Sadaqa, and every Takbir (i. e. saying Allah-O-Akbar) is a sadaqa, and every praise of His (saying al-Hamdu Lillah) is a Sadaqa and every declaration that He is One (La illha ill-Allah) is a sadaqa, and enjoining of good is a sadaqa, and forbidding of that which is evil is a Sadaqa, and in man’s sexual Intercourse (with his wife, ) there is a Sadaqa. They (the Companions) said: Messenger of Allah, is there reward for him who satisfies his sexual passion among us? He said: Tell me, if he were to devote it to something forbidden, would it not be a sin on his part? Similarly, if he were to devote it to something lawful, he should have a reward.
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book 5, Hadith 2198).
2)DUA (SUPPLICATION) WHILE DOING INTERCOURSE:-
Narrated Ibn `Abbas:
The Prophet said, “If anyone of you, when intending to have a sexual intercourse with his wife, says: ‘Bismillah, Allahumma jannibna-sh-shaitan, wa jannibi-sh-shaitan ma razaqtana,’ and if the couple are destined to have a child (out of that very sexual relation), then Satan will never be able to harm that child.”
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 8, Book 75, Hadith 397)
Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-‘As:The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: If one of you marries a woman or buys a slave, he should say: “O Allah, I ask Thee for the good in her, and in the disposition Thou hast given her; I take refuge in Thee from the evil in her, and in the disposition Thou hast given her.” When he buys a camel, he should take hold of the top of its hump and say the same kind of thing.
ABU DAWOOD (Book #11, Hadith #2155)
3)RULING ON PRAYING TWO RAKA’H ON WEDDING NIGHT ?:-
Some scholars regarded it as mustahabb to pray two rak‘ahs before consummating the marriage with the wife, but that is not narrated in the Sunnah of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). Rather it is narrated that some of the Sahaabah (may Allah be pleased with them) did that.
It was narrated that Abu Sa‘eed, the freed slave of Abu Usayd, said: I got married when I was a slave, and I invited some of the Companions of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), among whom were Ibn Mas‘ood, Abu Dharr and Hudhayfah. … And they taught me and said: When your wife enters upon you, pray two rak‘ahs, then ask Allah, may He be exalted, for the good of what has entered upon you and seek refuge with Him from its evil, then go ahead and approach your wife.
IBN ABI SHAYBAH IN AL-MUSANNAF (3/401)
ABD AL-RAZZAAQ IN AL MUSANNAF (6/191).
It was narrated that Shaqeeq said: A man came to ‘Abd-Allah -i.e., ibn Mas‘ood] who was called Abu Jareer, and said: I have got married to a young girl and I am afraid that she will dislike me.‘Abd-Allah said: Love is from Allah and dislike is from the Shaytaan, who wants to make hateful to you that which Allah has permitted to you. So when she comes to you, tell her to pray two rak‘ahs behind you.
IBN ABI SHAYBAH IN AL-MUSANNAF(3/402)
ABD AL-RAZZAAQ IN AL MUSANNAF (6/191)
AL-TABARAANI IN AL-MU’JAM AL-KABEER (9/204).
Shaykh Ibn Baaz was asked: They say that there is a prayer for getting married and they call it Sunnah or Sunnat al-zawaaj (the Sunnah of marriage), and it is before consummation. And they say: Pray two rak‘ahs, and after that comes the consummation. Please advise us, thank you.
It is narrated in some reports from some of the Sahaabah that one should pray two rak‘ahs before consummating the marriage, but there is no reliable report concerning that in terms of soundness. But if you pray two rak‘ahs as some of the early generation did, there is nothing wrong with it; and if you do not do that, there is nothing wrong with it. The matter is broad in scope, but I do not know of any reliable, saheeh Sunnah concerning the matter.
4)HOW TO INTERCOURSE:-
It is permissible for the husband to have intercourse with his wife in her vagina in whatever manner he wishes, from behind or from the front, on the condition that it is in her vagina, which is the place from which a child is born.
Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you, so come to your place of cultivation however you wish and put forth [righteousness] for yourselves. And fear Allah and know that you will meet Him. And give good tidings to the believers.
SURAH BAQARAH 2 VERSE 223.
Jabir (Allah be pleased with him) declared that the Jews used to say:
When a man has intercourse with his wife through the vagina but being on her back. the child will have squint, so the verse came down:” Your wives are your tilth; go then unto your tilth as you may desire” (2. 223)
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book 8, Hadith 3363)
Jews used to say: “If one has sexual intercourse with his wife from the back, then she will deliver a squint-eyed child.” So this Verse was revealed:– “Your wives are a tilth unto you; so go to your tilth when or how you will.” (2.223)
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 6, Book 60, Hadith 51)
5)RULING ON INTERCOURSE IN BACK PASSAGE (ANUS,RECTUM)?:-
It is not permissible for the husband under any circumstances whatsoever to have intercourse with his wife in her back passage. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223]. It is known that the place of tilth is the vagina, which is the place from which one hopes for a child.
Abu Hurairah narrated that :
the Prophet said: “Whoever engages in sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman, or a woman in her anus, consults a soothsayer, then he has disbelieved in what was revealed to Muhammad.” (Hasan)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 1, Book 1, Hadith 135)
The Prophet (Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon Him) cursed the one who does this: “Cursed is the one who approaches his wife in her rectum”
MUSNAD AHMAD ( 2/479;SAHEEH AL JAAMI 5865).
Narrated AbuHurayrah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: He who has intercourse with his wife through her ANUS is accursed.
ABU DAWOOD (Book #11, Hadith #2157)
Narrated AbuHurayrah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: If anyone resorts to a diviner and believes in what he says (according) to the version of Musa), or has intercourse with his wife (according to the agreed version) when she is menstruating, or has intercourse with his wife through her ANUS, he has nothing to do with what has been sent down to Muhammad (peace_be_upon_him) – according to the version of Musaddad.
ABU DAWOOD (Book #29, Hadith #3895)
6)IT IS MUSTAHAB (RECOMMENDED) TO WUDOO IF SOMEONE WANTS TO INTERCOURSE SECOND TIME:-
If a man has intercourse with his wife and wants to come back to her a second time, he should do wudoo’,
Abu Sa’id al-Khudri reported:
The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: When anyone amongst you has sexual intercourse with his wife and then he intends to repeat it, he should perform ablution. In the hadith transmitted by Abu Bakr. (the words are):” Between the two (acts) there should be an ablution,” or he (the narrator) said:” Then he intended that it should be repeated.”
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book 3, Hadith 605)
IF SOMEONE ABLE TO DO GHUSL BETWEEN TWO ACTIONS THAT IS BETTER:-
Narrated abuRafi’: One day the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) had intercourse with all his wives. He took a bath after each intercourse. I asked him: Apostle of Allah, why don’t you make it a single bath? He replied: This is more purifying, better and cleaning.
ABU DAWOOD (Book #1, Hadith #0219)
7)WHAT MAKES GHUSL OBLIGATORY?:-
One or both of the spouses have to do ghusl in the following situations:when the “two circumcised parts” meet, This ghusl is obligatory whether ejaculation takes place or not. The touching of the circumcised parts means that the glans or tip of the penis penetrates the vagina; it does not mean mere touching.
Aishah narrated that :
the Prophet said: “When the circumcised meets the circumcised then Ghusl is required.” (Sahih)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 1, Book 1, Hadith 109)
“When the circumcised meets the circumcised, then indeed Ghusl is required. Myself and Allah’s Messenger did that, so we performed Ghusl.” (Sahih)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 1, Book 1, Hadith 108)
The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: When anyone sits amidst four parts (of the woman) and the circumcised parts touch each other a bath becomes obligatory.
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book #003, Hadith #0684)
Narrated Hisham:as the following Hadith 290.Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, “When a man sits in between the four parts of a woman and did the sexual intercourse with her, bath becomes compulsory.”
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 1, Book 5, Hadith 289)
EMISSION OF SEMEN,EVEN IF THE TWO CIRCUMCISED PARTS DO NOT TOUCH:-
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Water is for water [i.e., the water of ghusl is necessary when the “water” of semen is ejaculated].”
SAHIH MUSLIM ( 1/269).
8)BOTH HUSBAND WIFE CAN DO GHUSL IN ONE PLACE:-
It is permissible for the husband and wife to do ghusl together in one place, even if he sees her and she sees him,
This big copper vessel used to be put for me and Allah’s Apostle and we would take water from it together (on taking a bath) .
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 9, Book 92, Hadith 439)
9)IF PERSON IS JUNUB HE/SHE CAN SLEEP BUT IT IS MUSTAHAB TO DO WUDOO:-
It is permissible for a person who has to make ghusl to sleep and delay the ghusl until before the time of prayer, but it is definitely mustahabb for him to do wudoo’ before sleeping,
Whenever the Prophet intended to sleep while he was Junub, he used to wash his private parts and perform ablution like that for the prayer.
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 1, Book 5, Hadith 286)
`Umar asked the Prophet “Can anyone of us sleep while he is Junub?” He replied, “Yes, if he performs ablution.”
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 1, Book 5, Hadith 287)
Narrated `Umar bin Al-Khattab:
I asked Allah’s Apostle “Can any one of us sleep while he is Junub?” He replied, “Yes, if he performs ablution, he can sleep while he is Junub.”
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 1, Book 5, Hadith 285)
Narrated Abu Salama:
I asked `Aisha “Did the Prophet use to sleep while he was Junub?” She replied, “Yes, but he used to perform ablution (before going to bed).
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 1, Book 5, Hadith 284)
Umar narrated that :
he asked the Prophet: “Can one of us sleep while he is Junub?” So he replied: “Yes, when he performs Wudu.” (Sahih)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 1, Book 1, Hadith 120)
Umar, who said that he asked the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), Can any one of us sleep when he is junub? The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Yes, but let him do wudoo’ if he wishes.”
IBN HIBBBAN ( 232).
10)IT IS FORBIDDEN TO HAVE INTERCOURSE WITH A WOMEN WHEN SHE IS MENSTRUATING (HAVING HER PERIOD):-
And they ask you about menstruation. Say, “It is harm,( so keep away from wives during menstruation. And do not approach them until they are pure. And when they have purified themselves, then come to them from where Allah has ordained for you. Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves.”
SURAH BAQARAH 2 VERSE 222.
11)EXPIATITION FOR DOING INTERCOURSE WITH WIFE WHILE MENSTUARATING:-
The person who has intercourse with his wife whilst she is menstruating has to give a dinar or half a dinar in charity.
Ibn Abbas narrated that :
the Prophet said about a man who had sexual intercourse with his wife while she is menstruating: “He should give half a Dinar in charity.”
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 1, Book 1, Hadith 136)
Narrated Abdullah ibn ABBAS: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said about a man who has sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman: He should give one or half DINAR as sadaqah.
ABU DAWOOD (Book #11, Hadith #2163)
ABU DAWOOD (Book #1, Hadith #0264)
A dinar is four and a quarter grams of gold, so he should find out what that is worth and give that amount in charity, or half of it, and he should also resolve not to do this thing again.
12)IT IS PERMISSIBLE FOR THE HUSBAND TO ENJOY HIS MENSTUARATING WIFE WITHOUT HAVING INTERCOURSE:-
When ever Allah’s Apostle wanted to fondle any of his wives during the periods (menses), he used to ask her to wear an Izar.
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 1, Book 6, Hadith 300)
Narrated `Abdur-Rahman bin Al-Aswad:
(on the authority of his father) `Aisha said: “Whenever Allah’s Apostle wanted to fondle anyone of us during her periods (menses), he used to order her to put on an Izar and start fondling her.” `Aisha added, “None of you could control his sexual desires as the Prophet could.”
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 1, Book 6, Hadith 299)
13)RULING ON USING COITUS INTERRUPT (CONDOM) :-
It is permissible for the husband to withdraw (‘azl) if he does not want to have a child; by the same token it is permissible for him to use condoms – if his wife gives her permission, because she has the right to pleasure and to children.
We used to practice coitus interrupt us during the lifetime of Allah’s Apostle .
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 135)
JABIR (Allah be pleased with him) reported: We used to practise ‘azl during the lifetime of Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him). This (the news of this practise) reached Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him), and he did not FORBID us.
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book #008, Hadith #3388)
But it is better not to do any of that, for several reasons, including the fact that it deprives the woman of pleasure or reduces the pleasure for her; and that it cancels out one of the purposes of marriage, which is to increase the number of offspring, as mentioned above.
14)IT IS FORBIDDEN FOR BOTH SPOUSES TO SPREAD THE SECRETS OF WHAT HAPPEN BETWEEN THEM IN THEIR PRIVATE MARITAL LIFE:-
It is forbidden for both spouses to spread the secrets of what happens between them in their private marital life; indeed, this is one of the most evil things.
Abu sa’id al-khudri reported the Apostle of Allah (May peace be upon him) as saying:The most serious breach of trust in Allah’s sight is that a man who has intercourse with his wife, and she with him, spreads her secret.
ABU DAWOOD (Book 42, Hadith 4852)
He then said: Is there any man among you who approaches his wife, closes the door, covers himself with a curtain, and he is concealed with the curtain of Allah? They replied: Yes. He said: later he sits and says: I did so-and-so; I did so-and-so. The people kept silence. He then turned to the women and said (to them): Is there any woman among you who narrates it? They kept silence. Then a girl fell on one of her knees. The narrator, Mu’ammil, said in his version: a buxom girl. She raised her head before the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) so that he could see her and listen to her. She said: Apostle of Allah, they (the men) describe the secrets (of intercourse) and they (the women) also describe the secrets (of intercourse) to the people. He said: Do you know what the similitude is? He said: The likeness of this act is the likeness of a female Satan who meets the male Satan on the roadside; he fulfils his desire with her while the people are looking at him.
ABU DAWOOD (Book #11, Hadith #2169)
15)A WOMEN SHOULDN’T IGNORE HUSBAND CALL FOR INTERCOURSE WITHOUT ANY SPECIFIC REASON:-
Narrated Abu Huraira:
Allah’s Apostle said, “If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the angels will curse her till morning.”
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 4, Book 54, Hadith 460)
Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, “If a man Invites his wife to sleep with him and she refuses to come to him, then the angels send their curses on her till morning.”
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 121)
Abu Huraira (Allah he pleased with him) reported Allah’s Messenger (may, peace be upon him) as saying:When a man invites his wife to his bed and she does not come, and he (the husband) spends the sight being angry with her, the angels curse her until morning.
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book 8, Hadith 3368)
But it is not permissible for the husband to force his wife to do that for which she is not able with regard to intercourse. If she has an excuse because she is sick or she cannot bear it, then she is not sinning if she refuses to have intercourse.
IBN HAZM (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Both slave women and free women are enjoined not to refuse the master or husband if he calls them for intercourse, so long as the woman who is called is not menstruating or sick and likely to be harmed by intercourse, or observing an obligatory fast. If she refuses with no excuse then she is cursed.
Al-Bahooti (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
The husband has the right to enjoy his wife at any time, so long as that does not keep her from performing obligatory duties or harm her; he does not have the right to enjoy her in that case, because that is not part of living with them honourably. But if it does not distract her from that or cause her harm, then he has the right to enjoyment.
KASHSHAAF AL-QINAA (5/189)
Some husbands are keen to satisfy their own desires, and they hasten to do that without caring about their wives or paying attention to their right to pleasure, so the wife finds no enjoyment in it and is put off by it, and it becomes a problem and a burden for her.
16)DOES BOTH SPOUSES ALLOWED TO HAVE INTERCOURSE ON THEIR WEDDING NIGHT?
Are a men and women allowed to have sex on their wedding night. including intercourse?If so, how often are the husband allowed to have intercourse once a week and so on.
Yes, the couple can have intercourse on the first night of their marriage if they want to. There is nothing in sharee’ah to indicate the number of times a couple may or should have intercourse, because this varies according to circumstances and personal preferences. As long as people vary in their abilities it is not possible for sharee’ah to impose a specific number in such cases. But intercourse is the right of the wife and is a duty on the husband. Ibn Qudaamah al-Hanbali (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Intercourse is a duty on the man – i.e., the husband should have intercourse with his wife – so long as he has no excuse. This is also the opinion of Maalik.”
Narrated `Abdullah bin `Amr bin Al-`As:
Allah’s Apostle said, “O `Abdullah! Have I not been formed that you fast all the day and stand in prayer all night?” I said, “Yes, O Allah’s Apostle!” He said, “Do not do that! Observe the fast sometimes and also leave them (the fast) at other times; stand up for the prayer at night and also sleep at night. Your body has a right over you, your eyes have a right over you and “”””your wife has a right over you.”
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 127)
In the commentary on this hadeeth, it says: “The husband should not exhaust himself in worship to the extent that he becomes too weak to fulfil her rights by having intercourse with her and by earning a living.”
It was narrated that ‘Abdullah said:
“The Messenger of Allah entered my apartment and said: “I have been told that you stand all night (in prayer) and fast all day.’ I said: ‘Yes (I do).’ He said: ‘Do not do that. Sleep and stand (in prayer); fast and break your fast. For your eyes have a right over you, your body has a right over you, your body has a right over you, your wife has a right over you, your guest has a right over you, and your friend has a right over you…………………….
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 3, Book 2, Hadith 2393)
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:
“It is obligatory for the husband to have intercourse with his wife as much as is needed to satisfy her, so long as this does not exhaust him physically or keep him away from earning a living… If they dispute over this matter, the judge should prescribe more in the way of intercourse just as he may prescribe more in the way of spending.”
AL-IKHTIYAARAAT AL FIQHIYYAH MIN FATWA SHAIKH AL ISLAM IBN TAYMIYAH –PAGE 246.
Sharee’ah also requires that a wife be protected from immorality by means of her husband having intercourse with her, as much as is needed to satisfy her and to provide this protection. But there is no way that this can be stated in terms of a specific period of time, such as four months, or more, or less. It should be defined according to the wife’s needs and her husband’s ability to fulfil her rights… All of this applies in normal circumstances, when the husband is present and living with his wife.
17)RULING ON INTERCOURSE DURING RAMADAAN?:-
Intercourse with one’s wife in Ramadaan may mean one of two things, either at night or during the day.
Intercourse at night is permissible. Night lasts from when the sun first sets until dawn comes.
“It is made lawful for you to have sexual relations with your wives on the night of As Sawm (the fasts). They are Libaas [i.e. body-cover, or screen, or Sakan (i.e. you enjoy the pleasure of living with them)] for you and you are the same for them. Allaah knows that you used to deceive yourselves, so He turned to you (accepted your repentance) and forgave you. So now have sexual relations with them and seek that which Allaah has ordained for you (offspring), and eat and drink until the white thread (light) of dawn appears to you distinct from the black thread (darkness of night), then complete your Sawm (fast) till the nightfall.”
SURAH BAQARAH 2 VERSE 187.
It says in AL MUGHNI (4/372):
We do not know of any differing opinion among the scholars with regard to the fact that whoever has intercourse in the vagina, whether he ejaculates or not, or ejaculates outside the vagina, has broken his fast if he did that deliberately. This is indicated by the saheeh reports.
18)RULING ON HUSBAND WIFE PLAYING WHILE FASTING:-
There is nothing wrong with a man playing with his wife, or a wife with her husband, by saying words while fasting, on the condition that there is no danger of either of them climaxing. If there is the danger that they may reach climax, as in the case of one who has strong desires and who fears that if he plays with his wife his fast may be broken by his ejaculating, then it is not permissible for him to do that, because he is exposing his fast to the risk of being broken. The same applies if he fears that he may emit prostatic fluid (madhiy).
AL SHARH AL-MUMTI 6/390.
A MEN CAN KISS HER WIFE ,PLAY WITH HER.IF SURE THAT THERE IS NO REACHING OF CLIMAX IN FASTING:-
“The Prophet would kiss during the month of fasting.” (Sahih)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 2, Book 3, Hadith 727)
“The Messenger of Allah would fondle me while he was fasting, and he had the most control among you of his limb (li irbihi).” (Sahih)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 2, Book 3, Hadith 728)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 2, Book 3, Hadith 729)
A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported that the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) used to kiss her during the month of fasting.
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book 6, Hadith 2445)
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book 6, Hadith 2446)
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book 6, Hadith 2447)
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book 6, Hadith 2448)
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book 6, Hadith 2449)
Narrated Hisham’s father:
Aisha said, “Allah’s Apostle used to kiss some of his wives while he was fasting,” and then she smiled.
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 3, Book 31, Hadith 150)
19)EXPIATITION FOR DOING INTERCOURSE WITH WIFE WHILE FASTING:-
Indeed intercourse is the most serious of the things that break the fast, and expiation must be offered for that.
Abu Huraira reported that a person had intercourse with his wife during Ramadan (while fasting). He asked for the religious verdict (about it) from the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him), whereupon he (the Holy Prophet) said:Can you find a slave (to grant him freedom)? He said: No. He (the Holy Prophet again) said: Can you afford to observe fasts for two (consecutive) months? He said: No. He (the Holy Prophet) said: Then feed sixty poor men.
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book 6, Hadith 2459)
Narrated Abu Huraira:
A man came to the Prophet and said, “I had sexual intercourse with my wife on Ramadan (while fasting).” The Prophet asked him, “Can you afford to manumit a slave?” He replied in the negative. The Prophet asked him, “Can you fast for two successive months?” He replied in the negative. He asked him, “Can you afford to feed sixty poor persons?” He replied in the negative. (Abu Huraira added): Then a basket full of dates was brought to the Prophet and he said (to that man), “Feed (poor people) with this by way of atonement.” He said, “(Should I feed it) to poorer people than we? There is no poorer house than ours between its (Medina’s) mountains.” The Prophet said, “Then feed your family with it.”
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 3, Book 31, Hadith 158)
Narrated Abu Huraira:
While we were sitting with the Prophet a man came and said, “O Allah’s Apostle! I have been ruined.” Allah’s Apostle asked what was the matter with him. He replied “I had sexual intercourse with my wife while I was fasting.” Allah’s Apostle asked him, “Can you afford to manumit a slave?” He replied in the negative. Allah’s Apostle asked him, “Can you fast for two successive months?” He replied in the negative. The Prophet asked him, “Can you afford to feed sixty poor persons?” He replied in the negative. The Prophet kept silent and while we were in that state, a big basket full of dates was brought to the Prophet . He asked, “Where is the questioner?” He replied, “I (am here).” The Prophet said (to him), “Take this (basket of dates) and give it in charity.” The man said, “Should I give it to a person poorer than I? By Allah; there is no family between its (i.e. Medina’s) two mountains who are poorer than I.” The Prophet smiled till his premolar teeth became visible and then said, ‘Feed your family with it.”
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 3, Book 31, Hadith 157)
20)RULING ON SUCKLING WIFE MILK? DOES SUCKLING MAKE MEHRAM ? :-
Yahya related to me from Malik from Yahya ibn Said that a man said to Abu Musa al-Ashari, “I drank some milk from my wife’s BREASTs and it went into my stomach.” Abu Musa said, “I can only but think that she is haram for you.” Abdullah ibn Masud said, “Look at what opinion you are giving the man.” Abu Musa said, “Then what do you say?” Abdullah ibn Masud said, “There is only kinship by suckling in the first two years.” Abu Musa said, “Do not ask me about anything while this learned man is among you.”
MUWATTA MALIK (Book #30, Hadith #30.2.14)
Yahya related to me from Malik that Abdullah ibn Dinar said, “A man came to Abdullah ibn Umar when I waswith him at the place where judgments were given and asked him about the suckling of an older person. Abdullah ibn Umar replied, ‘A man came to Umar ibn al-Khattab and said, ‘I have a slave-girl and I used to have intercourse with her. My wife went to her and SUCKLEd her. When I went to the girl, my wife told me to watch out, because she had SUCKLEd her!’ Umar told him to beat his wife and to go to his slave-girl because kinship by suckling was only by the suckling of the young.’ ”
MUWATTA MALIK (Book #30, Hadith #30.2.13)
IBN QUDAAMAH :-
“One of the conditions of breastfeeding creating the relationship of mahram is that it should be within the first two years. This is the opinion of most of the scholars. Something like this was narrated from ‘Umar, ‘Ali, Ibn ‘Umar, Ibn Mas’ood, Ibn ‘Abbaas, Abu Hurayrah and the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), apart from ‘Aa’ishah. It was also the opinion of al-Shi’bi, Ibn Shubrumah, al-Oozaa’i, al-Shaafa’i, Ishaaq, Abu Yoosuf, Muhammad, and Abu Thawr, and was narrated in one report from Maalik.
On the basis of the above, drinking one’s wife’s milk has no effect, but it is better to avoid it.
AL MUGHNI 9/201.
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen was asked about this matter, and he replied:
Breastfeeding a grown-up has no effect, because the breastfeeding which has an effect (of creating the relationship of mahram) is that which consists of five feedings or more within the first two years, before weaning. On this basis, if it happened that someone breastfed from his wife or drank her milk, he does not become her son.
FATWAA ISLAMIYAH 3/338.
From this is it clear that drinking one’s wife’s milk has no effect and does not create the relationship of mahram.
21)RULING ON ORAL SEX?:-
This is a common question from many countries of late, so this brother asks “what’s the ruling of oral sex?” Meaning by this: using his mouth on the private parts of his wife. The answer to this firstly is that I do not know of any evidence which prohibits this however this is an act of dogs. A male dog does this with the bitch when he wants her and the basis for the slave (of Allaah) is that he exalts himself above such things.
Allaah has placed desire within creation in order for the type and species to continue and the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wassallam) mentioned in the hadeeth “Any form of amusement is invalid (baatil) except three: when a man plays with and amuses his wife, when he trains his horse, and when he practices shooting with his arrow.” The Prophet said that all forms of amusements are baatil except for these three due to what them being based on important things which are considered. So when a man plays with his wife that brings about a righteous son, training a horse and archery helps to strengthen one’s body and helps to prepare for jihad in the way of Allaah. So the Prophet said that all forms of amusement are baatil except for those which bring about something worthy of consideration, and a man can only fulfil his desire from his wives by intercourse. However, some who we know from those whom we have benefitted from in terms of fiqh have stated that if intercourse is permissible then all that is lesser than it is also permitted, so from this point of evidence it (oral sex) is permissible. This is the evidence that Imaam al-Qurtubee mentions in his tafseer, that if intercourse is allowed then whatever is lesser than it is also allowed and he mentions this issue (of oral sex).
NOTE:- IT IS BETTER TO AVOID IT .TO REMAIN ON SAFE SIDE.
Narrated An-Nu`man bin Bashir:
The Prophet said “Both legal and illegal things are obvious, and in between them are (suspicious) doubtful matters. So whoever forsakes those doubtful things lest he may commit a sin, will definitely avoid what is clearly illegal; and whoever indulges in these (suspicious) doubtful things bravely, is likely to commit what is clearly illegal. Sins are Allah’s Hima (i.e. private pasture) and whoever pastures (his sheep) near it, is likely to get in it at any moment.”
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 3, Book 34, Hadith 267)
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book #010, Hadith #3882)
Narrated Hasan ibn Ali R.A
I have learnt from the Prophet (peace be upon him) and preserved this (in my memory): Leave those things which create doubts in your mind and adopt that which does not create any doubt in your mind.
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (593)
ALLAH SWT KNOWS BEST.