One of the important reasons for which Islam has prescribed marriage is to achieve chastity and to protect oneself and prevent one from looking at haraam things. In order to achieve that, Islam encourages looking at the fiancée before getting married to her, as that will ensure that love and affection will be generated between them, and will create a happy family, based on love, affection and respect, and neither spouse will be tempted to do something other than that which Allaah has permitted.The guidance of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) with regard to marriage was that he encouraged making it easy, announcing it and proclaiming it openly, and expressing joy and happiness on this occasion; making a wedding feast (waleemah) and inviting people to it.
1) ADVICE TO ONE WHO DOESNOT WANT TO GET MARRIED.
2) QUALITES A MAN/WOMEN LOOK IN FOR FUTURE WIFE/HUSBAND.
3) MARRIAGE WITHOUT WALI (GUARDIAN).
4) LOOKING AT WOMEN/MAN BEFORE PROPOSING FOR MARRIAGE.
5) RULING ON WOMEN PROPOSING MAN ?
6) A WALI (GUARDIAN) SHOULD TAKE PERMISSION OF MARRIAGE FROM MATRON AND VIRGIN.
7) DOES ISLAM ALLOWED FORCED MARRIAGE ?
8) RULING ON PROPOSAL OF INNOVATOR,MARRYING WITH INNOVATORS.
9) RULING ON MUSLIM MAN MARRYING WITH AHLE-KITAB (PEOPLE OF THE BOOK).
10) ETIQUETTE OF PROPOSING.
11) RULING ON LOVE BEFORE MARRIAGE ?
12) REDUCING MAHR,(AFFORDABLE MAHR).
13) ANNOUNCING MARRIAGE.
14) WEDDING FEAST (WALEEMA).
15) SOME ACTIONS PRESCRIBED IN SHAREEH TO BE DONE AFTER CONSUMATING MARRIAGE.
16) RULING OF INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE.
17) RIGHTS OF HUSBAND AND WIFE.
18) RULING ON PLURAL MARRIAGE (POLYGAMY).
19) RULING ON TEMPORARY (MUTUAH) MARRIAGE.
20) RULING ON TAHLEEL MARRIAGE (HALALA).
1) ADVICE TO ONE WHO DOESNOT WANT TO GET MARRIED :-
He it is Who created you from a single being, and of the same kind did He make his mate that he might incline to her”
(SURAH ARAAF 7 VERSE 189)
And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He put between you love and compassion; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect.”
(SURAH AR ROOM 30 VERSE 21)
And He it is Who has created man from the water, and He has made for him blood-relationship and marriage-relationship”
(SURAH AL-FURQAN 25 VERSE 54)
‘And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male slaves and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty, and Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing.
(SURAH AN NUR 24 VERSE 32)
Narrated Abu Hurairah:
It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that the Messenger of Allah said: “There are three who are promised the help of Allah: The Mukatab who wants to buy his freedom, the one who gets married seeking to keep himself chaste, and the Mujahid who fights in the cause of Allah.” *Mukatab: the slave who has made a contract of manumission.
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3220)
Narrated Sa`id bin Jubair:
Ibn `Abbas asked me, “Are you married?” I replied, “No.” He said, “Marry, for the best person of this (Muslim) nation (i.e., Muhammad) of all other Muslims, had the largest number of wives.”
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 7)
Narrated Anas bin Malik:
A group of three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet asking how the Prophet worshipped (Allah), and when they were informed about that, they considered their worship insufficient and said, “Where are we from the Prophet as his past and future sins have been forgiven.” Then one of them said, “I will offer the prayer throughout the night forever.” The other said, “I will fast throughout the year and will not break my fast.” The third said, “I will keep away from the women and will not marry forever.” Allah’s Apostle came to them and said, “Are you the same people who said so-and-so? By Allah, I am more submissive to Allah and more afraid of Him than you; yet I fast and break my fast, I do sleep and I also marry women. So he who does not follow my tradition in religion, is not from me (not one of my followers).
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 1)
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3219)
We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah’s Apostle said, “O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power.”
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 4)
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book #62, Hadith #4)
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book #08, Hadith #3233)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 2, Book 6, Hadith 1081)
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3210)
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3211)
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3212)
Ibraaheem ibn Maysarah said: Tawoos said to me: “Either get married, or I will say to you what ‘Umar said to Abu’l-Zawaa’id: Nothing is keeping you from getting married except impotence or immorality.”
(MUSANNIF ABI SHAYBAY HADITH 15676)
(SAEED BIN MANSUR HADITH 478)
(MUSANNIF ABDUR RAZZAQ HADITH 10137)
Ibn Mas’ood said: If I only had ten days to live and I knew that I would die at the end of them, and I had any desire to get married, I would get married, for fear of fitnah (temptation).
(SUNAN SAEED BIN MASNUR HADITH 480)
MARRIAGE IS HALF OF RELIGION. :-
Narrated Anas (r.a) Prophet muhammed (p.b.u.h) said Whomever Allaah blesses with a righteous wife, He has helped him with half of his religion, so let him fear Allaah with regard to the other half.”
MUSTADRAK AL-HAAKIM (HADITH 2728)
SHOABUL EMAAN BAIHAQI (HADITH 5072)
SOURCE OF MUSTADRAK AL-HAAKIM. :-
SOURCE OF SHOABUL EMAAN BAIHAQI. :-
Narrated Anas Prophet Muhammed (p.b.u.h) said When a person gets married he has completed half of his religion, so let him fear Allaah with regard to the other half.”
SHOABUL EMAAN BAIHAQI (HADITH 5071)
SOURCE OF SHOABUL EMAAN BAIHAQI. :-
IMAM ALBANI SAID :-
Al-Albaani said of these two hadeeths “Hasan Li Ghayrihi”
(SAHEEH AL-TARGHEEB WA’L-TARHEEB 1916)
2) QUALITES A MAN/WOMEN LOOK IN FOR FUTURE WIFE/HUSBAND :-
CHOOSE THE ONE WHO IS RELIGIOUSLY COMMITTED.
Narrated Abu Hurairah:
It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that the Prophet said: “Women are married for four things: their wealth, their nobility, their beauty and their religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust.”
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3232)
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 27)
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book 8, Hadith 3457)
ABU DAWOOD (Book 11, Hadith 2042)
Jabir narrated that:
The Prophet said: “Indeed the woman is married for her religion, her wealth, and her beauty, so take the one with religion, and may your hands be dusty.” (Sahih)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 2, Book 6, Hadith 1086)
One of the important reasons for which Islam has prescribed marriage is to achieve chastity and to protect oneself and prevent one from looking at haraam things. In order to achieve that, Islam encourages looking at the fiancée before getting married to her, as that will ensure that love and affection will be generated between them, and will create a happy family, based on love, affection and respect, and neither spouse will be tempted to do something other than that which Allaah has permitted. Hence beauty is one of the attributes which one is encouraged to seek and pay attention to.
It is also Sunnah to choose a beautiful woman, because it is gives a greater sense of transquillity and is more likely to help him lower his gaze and love her more. Hence Islam prescribes looking (at one’s fiancée) before marriage. Some scholars regard it as mustahabb, if a man wants to propose marriage to a woman, to start by asking about her beauty first, then about her religious commitment. That is because it is known that people seek beauty first and foremost.
(SHARH MUNTAHA AL-IRAADAT 2/621)
Narrated Abu Hurairah:
It was narrated that Abu Hurairah said: “It was said to the Messenger of Allah: ‘Which woman is best?’ He said: ‘The one who makes him happy when he looks at her, obeys him when he commands her, and she does not go against his wishes with regard to herself nor her wealth.'”
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3233)
The view that it is mustahabb to seek beauty in one’s intended wife does not mean that dazzling beauty is essential, and that a young man should imagine the image of a girl who is one of the most beautiful women in the world and spend his whole life pursuing the image that he wants, because in most cases he will not find her, she may be weak in religious commitment and character. Rather what is meant by beauty is the kind of beauty by means of which a man will keep himself chaste and avoid haraam things, and he will refrain from looking at other women. The definition of that beauty will vary from one person to another, and what matters is the opinion of the one who is proposing marriage.
CHOOSE THE ONE WHO CAN BORE MORE CHILD.WHO IS FERTILE.
Narrated Ma’qil bin Yasar:
It was narrated that Ma’qil bin Yasar said: “A man came to the Messenger of Allah and said: ‘I have found a woman who is from a good family and of good status, but she does not bear children, should I marry her?’ He told him not to. Then he came to him a second time and he told him not to (marry her). Then he came to him a third time and he told him not to (marry her), then he said: ‘Marry the one who is fertile and loving, for I will boast of your great numbers.'”
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3229)
ABU DAWOOD (Book 11, Hadith 2045)
IBN QUDAAMAH SAID :-
It is mustahabb that she be from a family whose women are known to bear many children.
3) MARRIAGE WITHOUT WALI (GUARDIAN) :-
A women cant do marriage without wali. A man does not have to have a wali at the time of the marriage contract, rather the man is the one who enters into the marriage contract by himself. It is the woman who needs to have a wali.
Abu Musa narrated that :
the Messenger of Allah said: “There is no marriage except with a Wali.” (Sahih)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 2, Book 6, Hadith 1101)
ABU DAWOOD (Book 11, Hadith 2080)
Aishah narrated that:
The Messenger of Allah said: “Whichever woman married without the permission of her Wali her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. If he entered into her, then the Mahr is for her in lieu of what he enjoyed from her private part. If they disagree, then the Sultan is the Wali for one who has no Wali.” (Hasan)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI ( Vol. 2, Book 6, Hadith 1102)
ABU DAWOOD (Book 11, Hadith 2078)
THE MARRIAGE CONTRACT MUST BE WITNESSED BY WALI,TWO WITNESSES.
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage contract except with a walee and two witnesses.”
TABARANI (SAHEEH AL-JAAMI 7558)
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:”No marriage contract can be concluded without the presence of a Wali. A Sultan (authority figure) can act as a Wali for those without one.”
IBN MAJAH (HADITH 1880,SAHEEH AL-JAAMI 7556)
THE CONDITIONS OF THE WALEE ARE AS FOLLOWS :-
1) He should be of sound mind.
2) He should be an adult.
3) He should be free (not a slave).
4) He should be of the same religion as the bride. A kaafir cannot be the walee of a Muslim, male or female, and a Muslim cannot be the walee of a kaafir, male or female, but a kaafir can be the walee of a kaafir woman for marriage purposes, even if they are of different religions. An apostate (one who has left Islam) cannot be a walee for anybody.
5) He should be of good character (‘adaalah – includes piety, attitude, conduct, etc.), as opposed to being corrupt. This is a condition laid down by some scholars, although some of them regard the outward appearance of good character as being sufficient, and some say that it is enough if he is judged as being able to pay proper attention to the interests of the woman for whom he is acting as walee in the matter of her marriage.
6) He should be male, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No woman may conduct the marriage contract of another woman, and no woman can conduct the marriage contract on behalf of her own self, because the zaaniyah (fornicatress, adulteress) is the one who arranges things on her own behalf.
IBN MAJAH (HADITH 1782)
7) He should be wise and mature (rushd), which means being able to understand matters of compatibility and the interests of marriage.
8) The woman’s guardian is her father; then her paternal grandfathers, no matter how far the line of ascent reaches; then her son and his sons, no matter how far the line of descent reaches (this applies if she has a son); then her (full) brother through her father and mother; then her (half) brother through her father only; then their sons, no matter how far the line of descent reaches; then her paternal uncles; then their children, no matter how far the line of descent reaches; then the father’s paternal uncles; then the ruler.
RULING ON WALI REFUSES COMPATIBLE SUITOR REPEATEDLY ? :-
If the wali repeatedly refuses the proposal of a compatible suitor, he is to be regarded as preventing the marriage of the female relative under his care, and his guardianship is thus rendered null and void, and that right is transferred to the next closest relative on the father’s side. The compatibility that counts here is compatibility in religious commitment. There is no difference between an Arab and a non-Arab, or between black and white, except in terms of taqwa (piety). Some of the fuqaha’ listed other conditions of compatibility, such as lineage and so on. The fact that the suitor is a teacher and you are a (university) tutor does not mean that he is not compatible with you, so long as he is of good character and religiously committed, and he is comfortably off in material terms.
SHAYKH IBNE UTHAYMEEN SAID :-
If the wali refused to let a woman marry a man whose religious commitment and character are good, then guardianship passes to the next closest male relative on the father’s side, then the next closest and so on. If they refuse to arrange her marriage, as usually happens, then guardianship passes to the qaadi, and the qaadi should arrange the woman’s marriage. If the matter is referred to him and he knows that her guardians have refused to arrange her marriage, then he should do that, because he is the wali in cases where there is no specific wali.
The fuqaha’ (may Allaah have mercy on them) stated that if the wali repeatedly refuses marriage proposals from suitable men, then he is a faasiq (evildoer) and is no longer regarded as being of good character or as being a wali, rather according to the best known view of the madhhab of Imam Ahmad, he also forfeits the right to lead prayers and it is not valid to offer any congregational prayer behind him. This is a serious matter. Some people, as we have referred to above, refuse offers of marriage from compatible men, but the girl may feel too shy to come to the qaadi to ask for her marriage to be arranged. This is something that does happen. But she should weigh the pros and cons, and decide which has the more damaging consequences, staying without a husband and letting her wali control her life according to his mood or his whims and desires, and when she grows old and no longer wants to get married, then he will arrange her marriage, or going to the qaadi and asking him to arrange her marriage because that is her right according to sharee’ah.
Undoubtedly the second alternative is preferable, which is that she should go to the qaadi and ask him to arrange her marriage, because she has the right to that, and because her going to the qaadi and his arranging her marriage serves the interests of others too, because others will come just as she has, and her coming to the qaadi will serve as a deterrent to those who wrong those whom Allaah has put under their care and prevent them from marrying compatible men.
Abu Hatim Al-Muzani narrated that:The Messenger of Allah said: “When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with comes to you then marry (her to) him. If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and discord (Fasad). If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and discord (Fasad).” They said: “O Messenger of Allah! What if there was something about him?” He said: “When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with comes to you then marry him.” (And he (pbuh) said this) three times.
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 2, Book 6, Hadith 1085)
4) LOOKING AT WOMEN/MAN BEFORE PROPOSING FOR MARRIAGE :-
Islam commands us to lower our gaze and forbids looking at non-mahram women. This is in order to purify people’s souls and protect their honour. There are, however, certain exceptions in which it is permissible to look at a non-mahram woman for reasons of necessity, one of which is in the case of proposing marriage, because it is the basis on which a very important decision affecting a person’s life will be taken. Looking at the woman to whom one wants to propose marriage has only been made permissible because of necessity, to be certain and put one’s mind at rest, and in order to follow the Sunnah, as mentioned in the hadeeth of al-Mugheerah and others. But four necessary conditions apply:The first is that one should be serious about marriage; the second is that the man and woman should not be alone; the third is that there should be no fear of fitnah (temptation); and the fourth is that it should not go beyond the limits set by sharee’ah, i.e., looking at what usually appears, which is what she shows to her father, brother and other mahrams. On this basis, a man should not look at any woman except the one whom he seriously wants to marry. If he is pleased with her, (he should proceed with marriage), otherwise he should move on to another.
THE SAYINGS OF SCHOLAR ON THE EXTENT TO WHICH ONE MAY LOOK AT SUITOR.
IMAM SHAAFI SAID :-
“If he wants to marry a woman, he is not allowed to see her without a headcover. He may look at her face and hands when she is covered, with or without her permission. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): ‘… and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent…’ [al-Noor 24:31]. He said: ‘The face and hands.’”
(AL-HAAWI AL-KABEER 9/34)
Bakr bin Abdullah Al-Muzani narrated that :
Al-Mughirah bin Shu’bah proposed to a woman, so the Prophet said: “Look at her, for indeed that is more likely to make things better between the two of you.” (Sahih)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 2, Book 6, Hadith 1087)
Narrated Abu Hurairah:
It was narrated that Abu Hurairah said: “A man proposed to a woman from among the Ansar and the Messenger of Allah said to him: ‘Have you seen her?’ He said: ‘No.’ So he told him to look at her.”
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3236)
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3248)
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3249)
Narrated Al-Mughirah bin Shu’bah:
It was narrated that Al-Mughirah bin Shu’bah said: “I proposed marriage to a woman during the time of the Messenger of Allah, and the Prophet said: ‘Have you seen her?’ I said: ‘No.’ He said: ‘Look at her, for that is more likely to create love between you.'”
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3237)
Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah:
The Prophet (p.b.u.h) said: When one of you asked a woman in marriage, if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so. He (Jabir) said: I asked a girl in marriage, I used to look at her secretly, until I looked at what induced me to marry her. I, therefore, married her.
ABU DAWOOD (Book 11, Hadith 2077)
IMAM NAWAWI SAID :-
“When (a man) wants to marry (a woman), it is preferable (mustahabb) for him to look at her so that he will have no regrets. According to another view, it is not preferable but it is allowed. The first view is correct because of the haadeeth, and it is permitted to look repeatedly, with or without her permission. If it is not easy to look at her, he may send a woman to check her out and describe her to him. A woman may also look at a man if she wants to marry him, for she will like in him what he likes in her. What is permissible for him to look at is the face and hands, front and back. He should not look at anything else.”
(RAWDAT AL-TAALIBEEN WA UMDAT AL-MUFTEEN 7/19-20)
Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him)” ‘The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) wanted to marry a woman, so he sent another woman to look at her and said, “Smell her mouth (front teeth) and look at the back of her ankles.”
MUSTADRAK HAAKIM (VOLUME 2 PAGE 166)
SUNAN BAIHAQI (VOLUME 7 PAGE 87)
5) RULING ON WOMEN PROPOSING MAN ? :-
If a woman want to propose a man whose religious commitment and character are good,she can consult her wali.
Sahl bin Sa’d As-Sa’idi narrated that:
A woman came to the Messenger of Allah and said: “I present myself to you (for marriage).” So she stood for a long time. Then a man said: “O Messenger of Allah! Marry her to me if you have no need of her.” So he said: “Do you have anything to give her as a dowry?” He said: “I have nothing except this Izar.” So the Messenger of Allah said: “If you give her your Izar then you will have no Izar, so search for something.” He said: “I did not find anything.” He said: “Search for something, even if it just an iron ring.” He said: So he searched but he did not find anything. The Messenger of Allah said: “Do you have any Qur’an (memorized)?” He said: “Yes. This Surat and that Surat.” And he named the Surat. So the Messenger of Allah said: “I marry her to you for what you have (memorized) of the Qur’an.” (Sahih)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 2, Book 6, Hadith 1114)
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3282)
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3202)
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3361)
ABU DAWOOD (Book 11, Hadith 2106)
Thabit Al-Bunani said:
“I was with Anas bin Malik and a daughter of his was with him. He said: ‘A woman came to the Messenger of Allah and offered herself in marriage to him. She said: O Messenger of Allah, do you want to marry me?'”
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3251)
It was narrated from Anas that a woman offered herself in marriage to the Prophet. The daughter of Anas laughed and said:
“How little was her modesty.” Anas said: “She was better than you; she offered herself in marriage to the Prophet.”
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3252)
6) A WALI (GUARDIAN) SHOULD TAKE PERMISSION OF MARRIAGE FROM MATRON AND VIRGIN :-
The majority of scholars are of the view that if a woman is married off without her consent, then the marriage contract is invalid, because it is a forbidden contract which cannot be validated.
Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar:
The Prophet (p.b.u.h) said: Consult women about (the marriage of) their daughters.
ABU DAWOOD (Book 11, Hadith 2090)
Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, “A matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting her; and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission.” The people asked, “O Allah’s Apostle! How can we know her permission?” He said, “Her silence (indicates her permission).
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 67)
Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as having said:A woman without a husband (or divorced or a widow) must not be married until she is consulted, and a virgin must not be married until her permission is sought. They asked the Prophet of Allah (may peace be upon him): How her (virgin’s) consent can be solicited? He (the Holy Prophet) said: That she keeps silence.
SAHIH MUSLIM ( Book 8, Hadith 3303)
Abu Hurairah narrated that:
The Prophet said: “A matron should not be given in marriage until she is consulted, and a virgin should not be given in marriage until her permission is sought, and her silence is her permission.” (Sahih)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 2, Book 6, Hadith 1107)
ABU DAWOOD (Book 11, Hadith 2088)
SUNAN NASEEI ( Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3272)
Narrated from Ibn ‘Abbas that the Prophet said:
“The guardian has no right (to force) the previously married woman (into a marriage). And an orphan girl should be consulted, and her silence is her approval.”
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3265)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 2, Book 6, Hadith 1108)
It was narrated from ‘Aishah that the Prophet said:
“Seek the permission of women with regard to marriage.” It was said: “What if a virgin is too shy and remains silent?” He said: “That is her permission.”
SUNAN NASEEI ( Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3268)
7) DOES ISLAM ALLOWED FORCED MARRIAGE ? :-
It is not permissible for the guardian, whether he is the father or anyone else, to marry off anyone under his care without her consent.as we have explained in point no 6, The woman’s guardian has to fear Allah with regard to his daughters and not give them in marriage to anyone except those with whom they are pleased from among men who are compatible and suitable. The guardian should only give her in marriage for her interests, not for his own.
SHAYKH IBN UTHAYMEEN SAID :-
Concerning the matter of a father forcing his daughter to marry: It is haraam for a man to force his daughter to marry a man whom she does not want to marry, and what is haraam cannot be validated or implemented, because implementing it or validating it goes against the prohibition that has been narrated. When sharee’ah forbids a matter, then we should not be involved in it or do it. If we validate it, that means that we have becomes involved in it and done it, and we have made it equivalent to the contracts that are permitted in sharee’ah. Based on this, the correct view is that the marriage arranged by the father to a man whom his daughter does not want as a husband is an invalid marriage, and the contract is invalid, and should be examined by the court.
(FATWAA PAGE 760,FATWAA AL SHAYKH IBN IBRAHEEM 10/73-78)
SHAYKH AL-ISLAM IBN TAYMIYAH SAID :-
With regard to giving her in marriage when she is reluctant, this is contrary to the basic principles and common sense. Moreover Allah did not allow her guardian to force her into buying or renting without her permission, or to eat or drink or wear something that she does not want, so how can he force her into sleeping with and living with someone she does not want to sleep with, and living with someone she does not want to live with. Allah wants love and compassion between the spouses, and how can that be attained when she hates him and does not like him? What kind of love and compassion can there be in that case?!
(MAJMOO AL-FATAAWA 32/25)
It was narrated that Buraydah ibn al-Haseeb said: A girl came to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and said: My father married me to his brother’s son so that he might raise his own status thereby. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) gave her the choice, and she said: I approve of what my father did, but I wanted women to know that their fathers have no right to do that.
IBN MAJAH (HADITH 1874)
Narrated Khansa bint Khidam Al-Ansariya:
that her father gave her in marriage when she was a matron and she disliked that marriage. So she went to Allah’s Apostle and he declared that marriage invalid.
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 69)
ABU DAWOOD (Book 11, Hadith 2096)
Narrated Al-Qasim:A woman from the offspring of Ja`far was afraid lest her guardian marry her (to somebody) against her will. So she sent for two elderly men from the Ansar, `AbdurRahman and Mujammi’, the two sons of Jariya, and they said to her, “Don’t be afraid, for Khansa’ bint Khidam was given by her father in marriage against her will, then the Prophet cancelled that marriage.”
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 9, Book 86, Hadith 99)
It was narrated from ‘Aishah:”A girl came to her and said: ‘My father married me to his brother’s son so that he might raise his own status thereby, and I was unwilling.’ She said: ‘Sit here until the Prophet comes.’ Then the Messenger of Allah came, and I told him (what she had said). He sent word to her father, calling him, and he left the matter up to her. She said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, I accept what my father did, but I wanted to know whether women have any say in the matter.'”
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3271)
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas:
A virgin came to the Prophet (p.b.u.h) and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet (p.b.u.h) allowed her to exercise her choice.
ABU DAWOOD (Book 11, Hadith 2091)
8) RULING ON PROPOSAL OF INNOVATOR,WHO COMMITS SHIRK :-
If he/she is one of those who commits shirk in belief or in deeds, such as one who believes that the awliya’ (“saints”) have knowledge of the unseen and have control over the universe, or he/she believes in incarnation of the divine or the unity of all things, or he/she devotes worship to something other than Allaah, such as du’aa’, seeking help, sacrifices or vows, then it is not permissible to marry such a woman/man, because he/she has committed major shirk –Allaah forbid.
“And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you”
(SURAH BAQARAH 2 VERSE 221)
If he/she has not fallen into shirk, but he/she does some acts of innovation such as celebrating the Mawlid (Prophet’s birthday) or invented forms of dhikr, or reciting a certain number of dhikrs for which there is no basis, or a certain manner of dhikr that is not proven in sharee’ah, then it is better not to marry such a woman, because the danger of innovation is great, and the harm caused by it is severe. It is dearer to Iblees than sin, because one may repent from sin, unlike innovation, for the one who does it regards it as part of religion by means of which he may draw closer to Allaah, so how can he give it up? Moreover, marriage to a man/woman who follows bid’ah presents a danger to the children and to the whole family, especially if the man/woman speaks well or is of a good attitude, so that others may be deceived by her.
IMAM MALIK SAID :-
Do not marry a woman from among the innovators, or give your daughter in marriage to an innovator, or greet them with salaam
If any actions which are known to constitute kufr are committed on this occasion, such as calling upon anyone other than Allaah, or attributing any divine qualities to the Prophet peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) etc. But if it does not go that far, then the one who attends such events is a faasiq (rebellious evildoer) but not a kaafir, and his fisq (rebellion) varies according to the unIslamic or innovated actions .
The four Imaams (may Allaah have mercy on them) stated that religious compatibility between the man and woman is one of the matters which must be taken into consideration. A faasiq (rebellious evildoer) is not compatible with a righteous, religiously-committed Muslim woman, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Is then he who is a believer like him who is a Faasiq (disbeliever and disobedient to Allaah)? Not equal are they”
(SURAH AS-SAJDAH 32 VERSE 18)
9) RULING ON MUSLIM MAN MARRYING WITH AHLE-KITAB (PEOPLE OF THE BOOK) :-
10) ETIQUETTE OF PROPOSING :-
If a man/woman wants to get married, and he/she has decided to propose to a particular woman/man, then he/she may go to her/his guardian on his/her own, or with one of his/her relatives such as his/her father or brother, or he /she may delegate someone else to propose marriage on his/her behalf. The matter is broad in scope, and prevalent customs should be followed. In some countries it is regarded as improper for the suitor to go on his own, so attention should be paid to that.
A MAN SHOULD NOT PROPOSE MARRIAGE TO A WOMEN WHEN SOMEONE ELSE HAS ALREADY PROPOSED TO HER.
Narrated Ibn ‘Umar:
It was narrated from Ibn ‘Umar that the Prophet said: “None of you should propose marriage to a woman when someone else has already proposed to her.”
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3240)
Abu Hurairah narrated that:
The Messenger of Allah said: “A man is not to sell over his brother’s sale, nor is he to propose to whom his brother has proposed.” (Sahih)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 2, Book 6, Hadith 1134)
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3242)
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3243)
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3244)
ABU DAWOOD (Book 11, Hadith 2075)
ABU DAWOOD (Book 11, Hadith 2076)
11) RULING ON LOVE BEFORE MARRIAGE ? :-
The issue of this marriage depends on the ruling on what came before it. If the love between the two parties did not transgress the limits set by Allaah or make them commit sin, then there is the hope that the marriage which results from this love will be more stable, because it came about as the result of the fact that each of them wanted to marry the other.
If a man feels some attraction towards a woman whom it is permissible for him to marry her, and vice versa, there is no answer to the problem except marriage.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “We do not think that there is anything better for those who love one another than marriage.”
IBN MAJAH (HADITH 1847)
Al-Sindi said, as noted in Haamish Sunan Ibn Maajah:
The phrase “We do not think that there is anything better for those who love one another than marriage” may be understood to refer to two or to more than two. What this means is that if there is love between two people, that love cannot be increased or made to last longer by anything like marriage. If there is marriage as well as that love, that love will increase and grow stronger every day. But if that marriage comes about as a result of an illicit love relationship, such as when they meet and are alone together and kiss one another, and other haraam actions, then it will never be stable, because they committed actions that go against sharee’ah and because they have built their lives on things that will have the effect of reducing blessings and support from Allaah, for sin is a major factor in reducing blessings, even though some people think, because of the Shaytaan’s whispers, that falling in love and doing haraam deeds makes marriage stronger.
Moreover, these illicit relationships that take place before marriage will be a cause to make each party doubtful about the other. The husband will think that his wife may possibly have a similar relationship with someone else, and even if he thinks it unlikely, he will still be troubled by the fact that his wife did do something wrong with him. And the same thoughts may occur to the wife too, and she will think that her husband could possibly have an affair with another woman, and even if she thinks it unlikely, she will still be troubled by the fact that her husband did something wrong with her.
So each partner will live in a state of doubt and suspicion, which will ruin their relationship sooner or later. The husband may condemn his wife for having agreed to have a relationship with him before marriage, which will be upsetting for her, and this will cause their relationship to deteriorate. Hence we think that if a marriage is based upon an illicit premarital relationship, it will most likely be unstable and will not be successful.
With regard to arranged marriages where the family chooses the partner, they are not all good and not all bad. If the family makes a good choice and the woman is religious and beautiful, and the husband likes her and wants to marry her, then there is the hope that their marriage will be stable and successful. But if the family make a bad choice, or they make a good choice but the husband does not agree with it, then this marriage is most likely doomed to failure and instability, because the marriage that is based on lack of interest usually is not stable.
12) REDUCING MAHR,(AFFORDABLE MAHR) :-
The mahr is a right that is given to the woman, as enjoined by Islamic sharee’ah, as an expression of the man’s desire to marry her. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
,”And give women their dowries as a free gift but if they of themselves be pleased to give you a portion of them, then eat it with enjoyment and with wholesome result”
(SURAH NISA 4 VERSE 4)
This does not mean that the woman is a product to be sold, rather it is a symbol of honour and respect, and a sign that the husband is willing to shoulder his responsibilities and fulfil his duties. Sharee’ah does not stipulate a certain limit for the mahr that should not be overstepped, but it does encourage reducing the mahr and keeping it simple.
Narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “One of the signs of a woman being blessed is that the process of proposing to her is made easy and the dowry is made affordable and she bears children easily.
MUSNAD AHMAD (HADITH 23957)
IBN MAJAH (HADITH 4095)
Abu Al-Ajfa (As-Salami) said:
“Umar bin Al-Khattab said: ‘Do not exaggerate in the dowries of women. If doing so was honorable in the world or Taqwa before Allah then Allah’s Prophet would have been the first of you to do it. I do not know of the Messenger of Allah marrying any of his women, nor giving any of his daughters in marriage, for more than twelve Uqiyah.” (Hasan)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 2, Book 6, Hadith 1114)
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3351)
ABU DAWOOD (Book 11, Hadith 2101)
TWELVE UQIYAHS IS EQUIVALENT TO 480 DIRHAMS I.E APPROXIMATELY 135 SILVER RIYALS.
Narrated Sahl bin Sa’d:
It was narrated that Sahl bin Sa’d said: “I was among the people when a woman said: ‘I offer myself (in marriage) to you, O Messenger of Allah, see what you think of me.’ A man stood up and said: ‘Marry me to her.’ He said: ‘Go and find (something), even if it is an iron ring.’ So he went, but he could not find anything, not even an iron ring. So the Messenger of Allah said: ‘Do you have (memorized) any surahs of the Qur’an?’ He said: ‘Yes.’ So he married him to her on the basis of what he knew of surahs of the Qur’an.”
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3202)
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3282)”
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3361)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 2, Book 6, Hadith 1114)
ABU DAWOOD (Book 11, Hadith 2106)
THE SURAH OF QURAN IS ALSO CONSIDERED AS MAHR.
It was narrated that Anas said:
“Abu Talhah married Umm Sulaim and the dowry between them was Islam. Umm Sulaim became Muslim before Abu Talhah, and he proposed to her but she said: ‘I have become Muslim; if you become Muslim I will marry you.’ So he became Muslim, and that was the dowry between them.”
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3342)
It was narrated that Anas said:
“Abu Talhah proposed marriage to Umm Sulaim and she said: ‘By Allah, a man like you is not to be rejected, O Abu Talhah, but you are a disbeliever and I am a Muslim, and it is not permissible for me to marry you. If you become Muslim, that will be my dowry, and I will not ask you for anything else.’ So he became Muslim and that was her dowry.” (one of the narrators) Thabit said: “I have never heard of a woman whose dowry was more precious than Umm Sulaim (whose dowry was) Islam. And he consummated the marriage with her, and she bore him a child.”
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3343)
THE MAHR OF UMM SULAIM (R.A) WAS ISLAM.
It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbas that ‘Ali said:
“I got married to Fatimah, may Allah be pleased with her, and I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, let me consummate the marriage.’ He said: ‘Give her something.’ I said: ‘I do not have anything.’ He said: ‘Where is your Hutami armor?’ I said: ‘It is with me.’ He said: ‘Give it to her.'”
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3377)
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3378)
ABU DAWOOD (Book 11, Hadith 2120)
THIS WAS THE MAHR OF FAATIMAH,THE DAUGHTER OF PROPHET MUHAMMED (P.B.U.H),THE LEADER OF THE WOMEN OF PARADISE.
SHAYKH AL-ISLAM IBN TAYMIYAH SAID :-
Whoever thinks of increasing his daughter’s mahr and asking for more than the daughters of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) were given – when they were the best women in this world in all aspects – is an ignorant fool. The same applies to asking for more than the Mothers of the Believers were given. This applies even if one is well off and can afford it. With regard to one who is poor, he should not give a mahr greater than he can afford to pay without any hardship.
(MAJMOO AL-FATAAWA 32/194)
BE A MAN NOT A BEGGAR TO ASK DOWRY :-
AS IT IS CUSTOM IN SOME COUNTRY THAT A MAN DO ASK FOR DOWRY SUCH AS CAR,CASH,OR OTHER THING.WHICH IS NOT A PART OF ISLAMIC SHAREEH AND ISLAM TOTALLY PROHIBITS ITS,SO AS WE NEED TO PREVENT THIS EVIL ACT WHICH IS BEING WIDELY SPREAD IN OUR SOCIETY,AS MANY SISTERS ARE UNMARRIED BECAUSE OF THE ABOVE PROBLEM.
13) ANNOUNCING MARRIAGE :-
Aishah narrated that:
The Messenger of Allah said: “Publicize this marriage. and hold it in the Masjid, and beat the Duff for it
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 2, Book 6, Hadith 1089)
BEATING THE DAFF AT WEDDINGS IS LIMITED TO WOMEN ONLY :-
Abu Al-Balj narrated from Muhammad bin Hatib Al-Jumahi who said that:
The Messenger of Allah said: “The distinction between the lawful and the unlawful is the Duff and the voice.” (Hasan)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 2, Book 6, Hadith 1088)
It was narrated that Muhammad bin Hatib said:
“The Messenger of Allah said: ‘What differentiates between the lawful and the unlawful is the Duff, and the voice (singing) for the wedding.'”
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3371)
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3372)
IBNE HAJAR ASQALANI SAID :-
In the strong hadeeths there is permission for that for women; it is not appropriate for men, because of the general prohibition on men resembling women
14) WEDDING FEAST (WALEEMA) :-
THIS IS CONFIRMED SUNNAH.
It was narrated that Anas said:
“The Messenger of Allah saw traces of yellow perfume on ‘Abdur-Rahman and said: ‘What is this?’ He said: ‘I married a woman for a Nawah (five Dirhams) of gold.’ He said: ‘May Allah bless you. Give a Walimah (wedding feast) even if it is with one sheep.'”
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3374)
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3375)
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3376)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 2, Book 6, Hadith 1094)
ABU DAWOOD (Book 11, Hadith 2104)
IT IS PERMISSIBLE TO OFFER A WEDDING FEAST WITHOUT MEAT :-
The Prophet stayed for three rights between Khaibar and Medina and was married to Safiya. I invited the Muslim to h s marriage banquet and there wa neither meat nor bread in that banquet but the Prophet ordered Bilal to spread the leather mats on which dates, dried yogurt and butter were put.
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 5, Book 59, Hadith 524)
IT IS OBLIGATORY TO ATTEND THE FEAST IF INVITED :-
Ibn Umar narrated that:
The Messenger of Allah said: “Accept the invitation when you are offered.” (Sahih)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 2, Book 6, Hadith 1098)
SHAYKH UTHAYMEEN SAID :-
The scholars (may Allaah have mercy on them) say that it is obligatory to respond to the first invitation, i.e., if one is mentioned by name and invited as an individual, whether the host invites him himself or through a deputy or by means of a card sent to him, on condition that there be no evils involved in the wedding feast. If there is any evil involved, then it depends: if when attending he is able to prevent the evil, then he must attend; if he is not able to do that, then it is not permissible for him to attend. End quote.
(LIQA AL-BAAB AL-MAFTOOH 13/133)
15) SOME ACTIONS PRESCRIBED IN SHAREEH TO BE DONE AFTER CONSUMATING MARRIAGE :-
It was narrated that Asma’ bint ‘Umays (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: I was the one who took care of ‘Aa’ishah and prepared her for her marriage to the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him), and I had some women with me. She said: By Allaah, we did not find any food with him except a vessel of milk. He drank from it then he passed it to ‘Aa’ishah, but the young girl felt too shy. We said: Do not turn away the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him); take it from him. She took it shyly and drank from it, then he said: Pass it to your friends. We said: We do not feel like drinking it. He said: Do not combine hunger with lies.
MUSNAD AHMAD (26925)
16) RULING OF INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE :-
17) RIGHTS OF HUSBAND AND WIFE :-
we discussed in link given below:-
18) RULING ON PLURAL MARRIAGE (POLYGAMY) :-
UPDATED SOON. (IN SHA ALLAH) SEPARATE ARTICLE.
19) RULING ON TEMPORARY (MUTUAH) MARRIAGE :-
Ali bin Abi Talib narrated:
“The Prophet prohibited the Mut’ah with women, and the meat of domestic donkeys during (the campaign of) Khaibar.” (Sahih)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 2, Book 6, Hadith 1121)
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3368)
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3369)
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book #008, Hadith #3263)
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book #008, Hadith #3265)
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book #008, Hadith #3267)
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book #021, Hadith #4763)
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 5, Book 59, Hadith 527)
It was narrated from Al-Hasan and ‘Abdullah, the sons of Muhammad, from their father, that ‘Ali heard that a man did not see anything wrong with Mut’ah (temporary marriage). He said:”You are confused, the Messenger of Allah forbade it, and the meat of domestic donkeys on the day of Khaibar.”
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3367)
Al Zuhri said “we were with ‘Umar bin ‘Abd Al Aziz, there we discussed temporary marriage. A man called Rabi bin Saburah said “I bear witness that my father told me that the Apostle of Allah (p.b.u.h) had prohibited it at the Farewell Pilgrimage
ABU DAWOOD (Book 11, Hadith 2067)
Rabi’ b. Saburah reported on the authority of his father:
The Apostle of Allah (p.b.u.h) prohibited temporary marriage with women.
ABU DAWOOD (Book 11, Hadith 2068)
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book #008, Hadith #3259)
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book #008, Hadith #3260)
‘Ali (Allah be pleased with him) heard that Ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with them) gave some relaxation in connection with the contracting of TEMPORARY marriage, whereupon he said: Don’t be hasty (in your religious verdict), Ibn ‘Abbas, for Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) on the Day of Khaibar prohibited for ever the doing of it-And eating of the flesh of domestic asses.
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book #008, Hadith #3266)
20) RULING ON TAHLEEL MARRIAGE (HALALA) :-
IF A MAN MARRIES A WOMAN WHO HAS BEEN DIVORCED THREE TIMES, WITH THE INTENTION OF MAKING HER PERMISSIBLE FOR FIRST HUSBAND (TAHLEEL MARRIAGE).THIS MARRIAGE IS HARAAM AND IT IS THAT WHICH PROPHET MUHAMMED (P.B.U.H) CURSED THE ONE WHO DOES IT.
Jabir bin Abdullah and Ali narrated:
“The Messenger of Allah cursed the Muhill and the one the Muhallal was done for.”
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 2, Book 6, Hadith 1119)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 2, Book 6, Hadith 1120)
Narrated Ali ibn AbuTalib:
The Prophet (p.b.u.h) said: Curse be upon the one who marries a divorced woman with the intention of making her lawful for her former husband and upon the one for whom she is made lawful.
ABU DAWOOD (Book 11, Hadith 2071)
ABU DAWOOD (Book 11, Hadith 2072)
Narrated from ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Shall I not tell you of a borrowed billy-goat.” They said, Yes, O Messenger of Allaah. He said, “He is al-muhallil. May Allaah curse al-muhallil and al-muhallal lahu.
IBN MAJAH (HADITH 1936)
THE MUHALLIL IS THE ONE WHO MARRIES A WOMAN AND DIVORCE HER SO THAT SHE CAN GO BACK TO HER FIRST HUSBAND,AND THE MUHALLAL IS THE FIRST HUSBAND.
Narrated that ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) said whilst addressing the people: “By Allaah, no muhallil or muhallal lahu will be brought to me but I will stone them.”
(MUSNAD RAZZAAQ 6/2650)
This applies whether he states his intention clearly when doing the marriage contract and they stipulate that when he has made her permissible for her first husband he will divorce her, or they do not stipulate that and he intends it to himself only.
Narrated from Naafi’ that a man said to Ibn ‘Umar: I married a woman and made her permissible for her first husband, and he did not tell me to do that and he did not know. He said: No, marriage should be based on genuine intentions; if you like her then keep her, and if you do not like her then leave her. He said: At the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) we would regard that as zina. And he said: They will still be adulterers, even if they remain for twenty years.
MUSTADRAK AL HAAKIM.
Imam Ahmad was asked about a man who married a woman intending thereby in his heart to make her permissible for her first husband, but the woman did not know about that. He said: He is a muhallil, and if he intends thereby to make her permissible for her first husband, then he is cursed.
AS SOME MUSLIM CLAIM THAT THIS MARRIAGE IS HALAAL ,THEIR OBJECTION ARE AS FOLLOWS :-
“The wife of Rifa’ah Al-Qurzi came to the Messenger of Allah and said: ‘I was with Rifa’ah and he divorced me irrevocably. Then I married Abdur-Rahman bin Az-Zubair, but he only has the likes of the fringe of a garment.’ So he said: ‘Perhaps you want me to return to Rifa’ah? No, not until you taste his sweetness, and he tastes your sweetness.'” (Sahih)
SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 2, Book 6, Hadith 1118)
SUNAN NASEEI (Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3285)
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 7, Book 63, Hadith 186)
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book 8, Hadith 3356)
It does not say that ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn al-Zubayr married her with the intention of tahleel. Rather the reports of the hadeeth indicate that he married her and wanted to keep her, and he did not divorce her just because she asked for a divorce. Rather she wanted to go back to her first husband, but the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) explained to her that that would not be permissible for her until the second husband consummated the marriage with her; she had said that he had not consummated the marriage with her.
So it does not say in the hadeeth that ‘Abd al-Rahmaan married her with the intention of tahleel (making her permissible for her first husband). Rather she is the one who wanted to go back to her first husband, and the fact that this intention was present on her part does not make the marriage a tahleel marriage, because the power of divorce was not in her hand.
IBN ABD AL-BARR SAID :-
In the words of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) to the wife of Rifaa‘ah, “Do you want to go back to Rifaa‘ah?” There is an indication that the woman’s desire to go back to her (first) husband does not affect the one who has done the marriage contract with her, and that does not come under the same heading as tahleel, in the case of which the one who does it deserves to be cursed. End quote.
IBN QAYYIM SAID :-
The intention of the wife or her guardian does not have any effect; rather what counts is the intention of the second husband. If he intends to make it permissible for her to go back to her first husband (tahleel), then he is muhallil and deserves to be cursed, as does the husband who divorced her, if she goes back to him by means of this invalid marriage. But if neither the second husband nor the first husband was aware of what was in the mind of the woman or her guardian of the intention of tahleel, that does not affect the marriage contract at all. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was aware that the wife of Rifaa‘ah wanted to go back to him and he did not make that the reason to prevent her going back to him; rather what prevented her going back to him was the fact that the second husband had not had intercourse with her, so he said, “not until you taste his sweetness and he tastes your sweetness.” End quote.
(ILAAM AL MUWAQQIEEN 4/45-46)